Full Moon, Full On

The beauty and magnificence of this glowing orb.
Awakens all things, I would much rather ignore.
Turn my head. Look the other way. Ignore it again today.
Until it gets so big! Ignoring is no longer an option.
I think I must deal with this.
Looking at it. Finding a point to start.
Seeing an end. It did not move too far.
Wiggle this, move that. I think it is okay.
The energy of this has moved away.
A door opened. I stepped on through.
It seems this place has more doors ahead, it's true.
I will get to those when I choose for today I want to move.
More of the old things that are in the way.
More of the stuff that weighs down my day.
I will pause for a moment.
Take in this new day. Clear out more when it comes.
Open another gate. Go and celebrate.

Love and blessings. 💕 Carrie 2019

Learning to Let Go

She stood in front of me. Hands clenched in tight fists at her side. Tears streaming down her face. Murmuring her pain. Frustration, pain, sadness, flowed out of her.

I knelt down to her level. Placing my hands on her fists. “It will be okay.” I quietly spoke to her. Explaining the best I could how if we let the tiny bird go it would be best for him.

” But…h.h.heee..just ssssttttarteddd to fly. “

“I know love. His flying is why we need to let him go. He will not thrive cooped up in a cage for the rest of his life. He needs to be free. “

She wiped at her face a little. Taking in giant, ragged breaths. She blinked a few times. Looking at the cage were the goldfinch sat patiently waiting for his release. Her blond hair blowing and sticking to her wet face was pushed away as her body came back to calm.

“You’re right. He needs to move on. We need to let him go. I am going to miss him.”

” as will I. “

She moved slowly toward the cage. Opened the door. Quietly, saying goodbye as she stepped away from the cage.

He eagerly leapt forward and took flight. Pausing briefly on a branch to look back at the girl. A quiet chirp, and off he flew. Free again to fly.

Expectations

I expected you to love me,
as I loved you,
And, to be honest,
A little more.

I expected you to be like me.
To love, and give, and be.

But like you,
You stayed.
Stuck in your ways.

So I stopped expecting.
Knowing it mattered to no one.

Expecting something brought disappointment.
Now I expect none.

I stopped expecting
A reaction that would be
Closer to a truth that only I could see.

In letting go
If all that I expect,
I see,
You can no longer disappoint me.

As it was,
You never tried to disappoint,
You were just you.
Perhaps, expecting, too.

I’m Aware

I was driving a few weeks ago. The kids were bickering in the backseat, and I was ruminating about all the little things that I would like to change. The things that require others to participate in the change, or maybe they require me to approach it differently. In the end it’s all the same, in a way. It is stuff I cannot change that day, or today.

As I was thinking this, I decided to let it go. Let God take it from me, and work his magic. In that exact moment, a car passed me with a license plate that read, “I’m aware.”

I burst out laughing , flooded with relief. He has this now, and I can move forward knowing that it will work out somehow.

How have your prayers been answered? Do you see the signs the universe sends to show you that your prayers are being worked out? Because God is aware.

Love and blessings to you. 💕 Carrie

Cascading

Sometimes emotions well up,
cascading down me,
until I have no choice but to notice them.
Hello, there. I feel you.
Rushing through me like a waterfall.
Trickling through me like a stream.
Yes, I feel you.
I am not ignoring the feeling.
Just breathing through it.
Until it passes, and I can see were it leaves me.

Sometimes emotions well up,
cascading down me,
taking me away on a rapid ride around rocks and trees.
Around bends and turns.
Bumping me along until I scream,
let me off this ride already!

Sometimes emotions well up,
cascading down me,
until I stop and listen to my inner voice.
Asking it, what's this?
Old or new?
Do I act on it?
Do I work past it?
Can I move it?

Sometimes emotions well up,
cascading down me...
and I am okay with that.

Chasing Happiness

The almost elusive happiness is up around the bend.
I made it there, but wait!
It rounded the corner again.

I know, I will speed up!
Yes, I got it.
I am sprinting fast.
"Happiness, here I come!"
Happiness speeds past.

Maybe that shiny jet will catch it.
No.
Still out of reach.
Exhausted.
I give up.
I go to rest on the beach.

Lying on the sand, wishing the chase was not futile.
I resigned and gave in.
In that moment, I turn to find,

Happiness resting beside me.
"Sometimes you need to surrender and let go.
Happiness will find you."